A Calm in the Unknown

It is possible to have peace when the future seems uncertain. Not that I've ever seriously doubted the reality of it, but when things are going how they "should" be according to our miniscule selves the security factor overtakes what the true peace is all about. Trusting in His greater plan for me, and that this new direction is the right one, the inevitable one, is what really brings me peace. Yeah, a lot of things in my life are up in the air or unknown at the moment, but they'll work out and things will get better, and no matter what happens or what mistakes I make in the future He will always accept me for who I am and set me back on my feet. I don't think I will ever come to understand true love completely, but I see facets of it often and if I can just reflect the Father's unconditional love, then everything will fall into place. Because the most important thing is to love Him with all your heart, mind and soul, and love your neighbor (basically everyone). People can talk about "love," but this love is the real true Love that will last for eternity.

Danke!

Today, I just have thankfulness in my heart. The people I've been allowed to meet, befriend, work with, live with... It's incredible, and I don't deserve the point I have reached. So if you're out there, thank you!

Expectations and Reality

Reality is never what you expect it to be. When you're a kid you assume that when an adult you will magically transform into a superhuman who knows it all and always does the right thing. As time progresses, I think certain areas will get better. Sometimes they do. Some experiences you think of as big positive things that couldn't ever be painful. And yet, they happen more differently than you ever supposed and sometimes situations you didn't account for cause the most excruciating pain you never expected. People you count on your whole life to accept and support you can change their minds, or close them. Life goes on and we never know what may be around the bend. We just have to keep breathing, and listening, and believing.

Some Thoughts from Rockwell Kent

"Only the voyager perceives the poignant loveliness of life, for he alone has tasted of its contrasts. He has experienced the immense and wild expansion of the spirit outward bound, and the contracted heartburn of the homecoming. He has explored the two infinities - the external universe - and himself."

...

"What forces men on to the deliberate quest of miseries and danger? Are they remote yet deeply rooted habits of a race which once delighted in adventure for the gain it held, that still assert themselves against the very soul's desire for peace and the mind's clear understanding of the paths that lead there? Is it a far-visioned life-force maintaining itself against the disintegrating allurements of ease, a militant expression of the subconscious will that's cognizant of individual weakness, an assertion in contraries of the complex of inferiority? Is bravery the cloak of cowardice?" 

It is a bit wordy, I know, but when you get through it it's really a great piece of work. I find it quite interesting, the whole idea of our inherent desire for comfort and peace but also our thirst for adventure and everything that could cause discomfort and disrupt whatever peace there is. Humans are contradictory beings. Sometimes you'll be out in the cold and wet, and all you want is to be dry and wrapped in a blanket in front of a fireplace, and you ask yourself "why am I out here? How did I let myself be fooled into thinking this was a good idea?!" But eventually you pull through, and after you are wrapped up in your blanket, you start to think "hey, that wasn't a bad idea... It makes this blanket worth so much more." It definitely gives value to things that otherwise would be commonplace. Appreciation comes from perspective, so if you change yours often, I believe you will appreciate more things in the long run. 

That Feeling When...

New sheets make sleep amazing. A good session makes one stoked. Hitting every single note at the right time makes the music come alive. Catching the best ride yet causes euphoria. Watching an infant makes one appreciate our inherent capacity to learn. Sunsets make me dream of distant horizons. Wind makes me want to go sailing. Love makes my head spin.  

Something Akin to Joy

I think Joy is a place; that distinguishes it from Happiness which I think is a feeling. I've been feeling a lot of happiness lately, but I believe there is a piece of joy in there as well. There is peace in many things, and I have had a few clear thoughts recently. Not thoughts that should be posted here, but they were clear nonetheless. I think it is a good start to the year, and if I get half as many weeks that are this amazing in the rest of the year then I shall count myself lucky indeed.  

Alles Gute zum Weinachten

It's funny when you think everything in your life is finally relatively stable, and then it becomes obvious that it isn't! But sailors are prone to instability; it is sort of a given with the life. Anyhow. This is arguably turning into the best Christmas of my entire life. The new year is going to be a glorious fresh page to start on. So much to do, but I feel it's going to be amazing! Spontaneity is a beautiful thing.