The Last 12 Hours

Tomorrow the old things start again. Books, pencils, whiteboards, keyboards, skeptical professors taking role and combating waitlist problems... I like playing with the idea that this will be my last semester. I feel like there is only so much of this I can take before I implode. I like using my brain and analyzing things, but now I've realized that bending energy to school alone is completely futile. In the end it's just a scrap of paper you can push at people when you're begging on your knees for a job. Unless coupled with real experiences and creativity, schooling is hard to use by itself. But anyways...

Looking back, I can honestly say this was a good summer. Things were accomplished, I did travel a little, I made some new friends, some amazing experiences were had... Yeah, a success. I also worked a reasonable amount. Life without school was quite awesome indeed. I could definitely live without it now.

Ok, one thing I am looking forward to in school is Theory III. I can't be completely down on school, because I'm taking my last theory class with Fred. It's apparently the hardest, and there is much analyzing, but it is going to be great. More opportunities to witness Inevitability and Simultaneity in action!

A Piece of Blue Sky...

It's clouded back over today. Not really what I wanted, but I suppose I can deal with it. I'm going to start working on German again. I don't know exactly why, I'd just hate to lose it all. The last few days it started uncovering itself in my mind and I'd try to remember the words and phrases for things. I forgot the word for Table - can't believe that- Der Tisch...

New-to-me cd of Yiruma, First Love. I like his creativity, but I almost wish he'd follow through with the Inevitability and let the ideas develop a little more. No need for new material, but just let the Inevitability work itself out and escape near-repetition. Unfortunately, most of the jacket is in Korean... one of the few parts in English is a poem he wrote:

When the love falls in your dream,
the time flows like a river in you.
When you're in love,
that is the time when the night falls.
But I wish you wait until the morning comes.
I've finally found you.

I was having this discussion of sorts with a friend about the importance of romance in a love story. It would be an interesting love story that had no romance in it, but wouldn't it be rather dry? It would just be so much work. Which was his point. I can see how that would be useful, but how is it realistic? True, our imaginations conjure up more romance than there actually is, but how could a love story exist without it? Every beautiful action taken in love is how it makes itself known. Those are the things you notice, and then you realize it's presence and it is an exquisite moment. It's true I am a romantic, so I suppose I should stop arguing and realize that the Romantic era is technically past with impressionism and and huge emotional paintings. Somehow the ideas still live on, though. With certain individuals who can't reconcile themselves to this age of technological advancement...   

The Enchanting Pacific

I had not been out on the bay in so long. It was fantastic. Heading back into the harbor, the ocean was the most intriguing purple color... it always amazes me how it changes while the sun sets. As you grow up, your perspectives change and you get new dreams and ideas about what you want to do with your life, but when it really comes down to it I think your heart's original intentions come back. There's so much out there, and so many chances to take a fork in the road, but sometimes there's this pull that tells you where you were meant to be.

Tuesday evening was extremely encouraging, and it reminded me "oh yeah, I can write." Sometimes I just dump whatever happens to be on my mind into this page of cyberspace, and don't even think about it. Some of it is good, and a lot of it belongs in the recycle bin. Now that I actually have time, it wouldn't be a bad idea to get back into the habit of writing...

This was my scribble during the 10minute prompt. I honestly have no idea where the scene came from or the characters, for that matter. The prompts were "Despite" and "Trust."

    "Despite the fact that I trust you, I'm still leaving."
    She looked into his eyes as she said this, and saw a piece of his soul shatter. Utter despair replaced his previous look of hopefulness, and he leaned against a post on the station as he caught his breath. He looked at the large station clock. It was 5:53.
     "But what about the commission they offered you? It would only take a couple weeks."
     She lifted her delicate fingers to her veil and laughed. "Like I would want to spend 2 weeks painting that family. Their faces have no symmetry. It's 1907, I have many better opportunities awaiting me in New York."
     There was a quiet confidence in the way she daintily lifted her bag to the train steward and raised her skirts to board the 2nd class car. But she turned around once, the red curls along her temples swished in the light wind. The sun was setting, and he once again was looking hopeful. It was 6 o'clock.
    "Will I see you again?" he asked.
     "Goodbye."

And yes, I invented the phrase "she saw a piece of his soul shatter." It was perhaps the best thing I got out of the whole deal. But it is still a nugget. There are some things I really like about it, and others I absolutely hate. It was completely spontaneous, I've never written about 1907 or had any ideas to. Perhaps someday it'll be useful for something.Till then it will float about in my subconscious ocean of unorganized imaginations.